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Author Topic:   DISCUSSION - Compareincest in families with incest history with those without.
b4rry
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posted July 25, 2002 08:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm curious if there's a difference in incest experiences between incest in families with histories of incest and incest where its an aberation in the family. On the family history side please comment on both with generally healthy outcomesa and those with more horrific outcomes. Likewise for families where incest has been unusual or not present at all.

What I'm trying to do is learn more about the range of incest situations and to better understand what's happened leading into, during and after those situations.

Personally, I suspect there's big differences between families where incest is prevalant and those it isn't, just as there's big differences between incest stemming from love and incest stemming from coercion/manipulation or between same-generation incest and parent-child (or other cross-generation) incest. But I'd like to know more of the "how" and "why."

So, please pitch in and explain all this to me.

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Guyyre
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posted July 25, 2002 08:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Guyyre     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
B4rry,

in my case the family has no known history of incest.

The family reacted with a mixture of tolerance and shame, not with any overt anger or intervention.

The county intervened and messed things up, but not the family.

The outcome is mixed.

I have a daughter from the relationship, and she is a joy and a trial. Her mom, my sis, is somewhat estranged from me, and having difficulties that I cannot help.

I'd say my experience was negative, with lots of really good parts.

Guyre

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Honeychile
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posted July 25, 2002 08:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Honeychile     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can only speak to my own experience which is an isolated incidence as far as I know. This is a recent development and I am an adult. Making love to my father has been wonderful on so many different levels.

The physical delights are intense and have proven to heighten my sexuality to even greater degrees than ever. The emotional and spiritual connections have been so exquisitely powerful that it defies description.

My father and I have always had a wonderful relationship. We think alike, we are friends, we admire and respect one another. Adding sex to the mix just made me love him more. Being a woman, I think that just happens naturally- to tie sex and love together. But sharing his bed and expressing my love for him by giving my body is the cherry on top!

However, having experienced this closeness with my father has not induced nor incited me to want to have sex with any of my brothers or anyone else in the family. I have read on here and elsewhere that once introduced to incest, some folks consider it a lifestyle and want to bring new relations "into the fold". That holds no appeal for me.

Guyre, I am sorry it wasn't more positive for you.

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motherlovebone
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posted July 26, 2002 05:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for motherlovebone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Honey,
Your situation sounds like a good example of what I aspire to with my mother. Would you consider sending me your e-mail address so we could talk? Please consider it; we sound like very similar people with similar views on incest.

Thanks,
motherlovebone0@lycos.com

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inkaboutit
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posted July 26, 2002 03:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for inkaboutit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think of this as incest, but more of child's play. My parents would put me and my twin brother and my 1 year younger sister all in the bath tub together a leave us a lone with a "glass cola bottle" (with a narrow neck) This happen when we were very younger but old enough to remember.

My brother make a game of using the cola bottle to fill my sister cunt "hole" with water. I enjoyed being part of the fun and my sister enjoyed it also. It was a lot of fun trying to fill her "hole" (cunt) with water. It was great wonderful child's play. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Another time me and my sister "play doctor" nude on her bed with mother down stair out of sight. We took turn being the doctor touching and playing with each other "privates" part in the nude. It was a lot of fun for both of us. But we were afraid of getting caught so we only did it a few times.

Nothing sexual about either one, just child's play enjoying playing with my sister's body and she also greatly enjoying it. This kind of child's play greatly bring children closer together in share what is very pirate to them with another human. It was a lot of fun. But too young to understand about sexuality.

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Wardner
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posted July 26, 2002 06:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know if my experience is relevant to your survey. I think my mother and I were on a path leading to a sexual relationship but she became ill with cancer when I was sixteen and died two years later. My earliest recollections of her touching me were like most children. It happened in the bath tub while she bathed me as a young boy. She would save the crotch area for last and spend several minutes there making sure that my foreshin was clean. I loved it. We frequently bathed together in the same tub right up until she became sick. She was always finding new ways for us to touch each other. Footrubs, messages, shampoos, book reading, pimple popping, and leg shaving were all fair play. Hand holding, arm holding, and chaste kisses were frequent on a daily basis throughout our time together. And, of course I spent a lot of time in her bed starting at six when my father left. I would fall asleep spooned next to my bare skinned mother holding me close in her arms. Her face was always in contact with either the top or back of my head. She would hum tunes or ramble on with nonsensible pillow talk. As I look back after all these years, I think she was waiting for me to initiate further closeness. She could rationalize her behavior as motherly affection but probably didn't want to take responsibility for initiating incestuous activity. Or perhaps she felt out of place, as a female, in promoting sexual activity. She may have felt that was a man's *****n. I think that both of us repressed our desire for sexual contact.

I regret not have sex with my mother. I probably could have started anytime after the age of 12-13 yo. I was born in 1944 and probably would have been required to wear rubbers as birth control wasn't available for a few more years. I am quite sure she didn't want another pregnancy.

Not sure about family history. My mother's father died when she was four yo. There was an unusual closeness between my mother and one of her male cousins. It might have been nothing more than their being nearly the same age and living under the same roof.

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Hans
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posted July 26, 2002 09:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Guyyre:

I've read your story in one of the forums before and I just want to express how sorry I am that your family was made the victim of hatred and intolerance by the state.

The number one rule of incest as a lifestyle is to keep it secret, especially from the government.

Hans

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Hans
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posted July 26, 2002 10:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not aware of any incest in my family's history. As far as I know my sister and I are the only ones who have indulged in it.

Hans

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synchmaster
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posted July 28, 2002 03:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for synchmaster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Greetings;

I have no knowledge of incest in my family other than my own experiences.

My mother and I were intimate. She initiated it when I was 13 and it continued for a bit less than three years when she died of cancer.

My daughters and I were also intimate. The youngest one initiated it when she was 20. She told her sister about it the same night and she flew in on the redeye so little sister wouldn't have all the fun! I guess that is the difference in the moral climate when I was 13 in 1952 and 1990!

I don't feel any regrets about either instance. In fact I feel being intimate with my mother had a positive effect on my future relations with women.

A point of interest. I think my dad knew. A short time after mom's funeral I put my arms around his neck and hugged him and said, "Oh Pop, I miss her so much!" He hugged me back and just said "I know, son. I know." He emphasized "know" when he said it. He was tragically killed five years later and I never had a chance to broach the subject with him.

------------------

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Meredith
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posted July 29, 2002 09:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Meredith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not a shrink so I couldn't say how incest gets started in some families. In our case I think it was partly because of what was happening with my mom. We all felt terrible while she was dying slowly. It was a horrible thing to live with day after day. Anything that made us feel better for a little while was something worth trying. I'm talking now about my brother and me. I didn't do anything with my dad until after my mom died. I think he only began having sex with me because he was so terribly sad and I reminded him of mom. I would do anything to make him happy for a little while. I would have been happy to have his baby but he finally stopped having sex with me because he felt it was wrong and he was afraid something like that would happen. That is why when my brother got me pregnant, dad knew it wasn't his. But he didn't want me to get an abortion and when Tina was born he was a loving grandpa until he passed away.

Even though our incest began from sorrow it was always very loving.It filled some kind of need in us. I was never as content as I was when my dad or brother was inside me. And of course I never did stop having sex with my brother, even after he got married. That was one of the main reasons he got divorced (first wife found out about us).

After I married Ray, he became a father to Tina. He couldn't love her more if she was his own. The nwe had Debbie. When Tina got older I knew she had a crush on Ray and even though he resisted, I knew he had "erotic" feelings for her too. I probably did more to get them together than they did, because I felt in my heart that it wasn't wrong. Same thing with Debbie. And now my brother has become part of the "mix" and occasionally makes love to them as well as me.

My guess is that this can only work if the entire family knows and is okay with it. It must be hard for the children who have sex with one parent and the other parent doesn't know. In one opinion the guilt from having to keep the secret must be worse for someone than having loving sexual relations with a family member.

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b4rry
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posted August 03, 2002 08:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm seeing signs that the woman's role in all this is crucial. Guys: that ought to be a lesson to anyone feeling how hot a sister, mother, cousin, aunt is.

I have another curiousity along these same lines. Why are some people more inclined to get into incest than others? Is it something in their upbringing?

Do any of you recall comparing notes with other kids at school or mothers (and fathers) comparing notes with other parents and sensing there was something different in your family's environment or the ways kids were being raised? I'm thinking aspects like discipline, general touching or hugging, parental continuing involvement in play and learning, the emotional tenor of conversation in the family (lots of temper or lots of soft understanding or whatever), how evenings/weekends were spent, level of cooperation and how chores were handled, etc.

I suspect there may be differences in upbringing that mold us into being more or less willing to cross boundaries, more or less inclined to accept incest if it arrises (or to seek it out).

Of course I expect the child raising and general environment in families like Meredith's to be quite different from the Norman Rockwell picture and those like Guyyre's to be much less different. But how and how much and to what extent to you feel that upbringing contributed to "setting the stage"?

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Chloe
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posted August 03, 2002 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chloe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a question...What does the role the non-incestuous parent play mean. If he/she is aware and condoning can they also be called incestuous even though they don't participate?
It's so sad to hear of so many people out there with incestuous partners who have died. On the other hand, most seem to have gone on to other relationships within the family.
Lastly, I want to say how thrilled I am to have found this intelligent site. I wallowed too long in the "bottom-feeder"sites wondering if I really belonged. Here I feel I do, thank you all.

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Chloe
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posted August 03, 2002 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chloe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
P.S. I meant to say that I know of no other incest in my family, pre-Chloe or post-Chloe. In my case it was "taking over" my mother's position when she stepped back - because of ill health - leaving a void that I filled. Because I am still working through much of my self-discovery - and still remembering - I don't want to go into things any deeper.
Carpe Deum
Chloe

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b4rry
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posted August 03, 2002 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
P.S. I meant to say that I know of no other incest in my family, pre-Chloe or post-Chloe. In my case it was "taking over" my mother's position when she stepped back - because of ill health - leaving a void that I filled. Because I am still working through much of my self-discovery - and still remembering - I don't want to go into things any deeper.
Carpe Deum
Chloe

You know there's a certain nobility about those children who take it upon themselves to fill for one of their parents what becomes missing through disease of death of the other parent. It says alot about the strength of feelings within the family and shows, once again, to what lengths our species goes to keep our social bonds as alive and as well as we can.

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Daddy
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posted August 03, 2002 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Daddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by b4rry:
You know there's a certain nobility about those children who take it upon themselves to fill for one of their parents what becomes missing through disease of death of the other parent. It says alot about the strength of feelings within the family and shows, once again, to what lengths our species goes to keep our social bonds as alive and as well as we can.


B, what an unusual and fascinating way to look at that! I never thought of it that way. You do have a way of sort of cocking your head and getting a different angle on things.

That brings up something more generally about "seeing things from a different angle". We have various experiences, they get imbedded in our subconscious and very bodies. These experiences--usually painful ones because that is why we bury them--act out in our lives, making a mess of them. In short, this is the reason for our human drama individually and collectively. We are unconscious, and believe we are other than we actually are.

Now, when these painful memories surface, bringing with them the old pain, we form NEW interpretations of the old events. Let me put that more clearly. We are children: we become incested, say. We, say, did NOT enjoy the event--at the time. We repressed the memory. In an adult relationship the memory and old pain surfaces, or surfaces in therapy entered for ostensibly other reasons than exploring incest. We remember, we feel the pain, we place the old memory in a new context, give it a new, adult interpretation. Let us say that what was painful at the time--is remembered in more or less exact replay with all the original detail and pain, and let us say accurately--but our adult mind "looks at it all from a different angle" and gives it a different context. Maybe the new spin on the original, painful incest is that "I did it to please dad" or "I was returning his love" or your idea of "noble act". Recontextualizing. Reinterpreting. Rewriting history.

My point here is kind of creepy, isn't it: re-writing history. History. History being what actually took place, or at the very least what was recorded in memory and tissues. Since in a very real way "I am my experience, my memory", what I am recalling is a part of "me". When I put a new spin on it or re-write history, I am attempting to change who I am! Am I not?

You may argue that, no, I am merely looking at myself in a new way that is perhaps more comforting and less painful. If one realizes that, that is one thing. But if one believes that the re-interpretation of personal history is the FACT of what happened or at least what was recorded in memory and tissue--that, I believe, is serious dysfunction.

Victims of the concentration camp in WWII survived by "finding meaning" in their experience and often writing about it. There is something particularly distressing to human beings about suffering without apparent meaning.We seem to always say: Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? He did not deserve to die!There must be a 'reason' for all this pain! Somehow, the "reason" gives meaning and the suffering becomes strangely easier to bear or accept.

Is "cocking the head" and giving a new interpretation of old incest experiences likely to lead to falsified memory and dysfunction? The incested person (if not an infant who may not have an ability to interpret but only to feel and remember)placed an interpretation on the incest at the time it was occuring. Should not that truth be honoured for the fact it was/is? What happened to me makes me who I am. Am I not honouring who I am by respecting, that is by NOT altering, my original perception and interpretation of what happened to me?

On the other hand, we live and grow and add and change who we are. We look back and see our childhood in a different, adult light. Looking back on incest may be no different. However, when we look back on less controversial events in our past, we do not become distressed or confused about whether the thing we remember happened the way we remember it, or whether we should put a different spin on it. We just already HAVE a new, let us say adult, interpretation of the past event--because we have grown into it. Not because we add that interpretation by deliberately working on it and re-framing our past.

That is what I am worried about: deliberate re-framing, and the consequences of that.


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b4rry
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posted August 03, 2002 04:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Couldn't you have said that more to the point and without all the mumbo-jumbo. You have so much to say, but, I swear, its hard to follow all the way through sometimes. (Forgive me.)

I was just throwing out food for thought. What I'd like is for those individuals who've actually been in such situations to express themselves, pro or con.

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Lisa L
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posted November 06, 2004 08:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lisa L     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Like my dad, I like to read these older posts and sometimes laugh.

Lisa L.

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bubjones
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posted November 21, 2004 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bubjones     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As a young person I had sex with two cousins, over a period of several years. After they moved out of state, I learned that they later started having sex with their father. I have often wondered if our early sexual involvement had anything to do with them having sex with there father? I later found out, the mother eventually found out, and banished both girls.At the time, I thought it was a positive experience for me and them. It later appered to turn negitive for them.

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Lisa L
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posted November 21, 2004 08:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lisa L     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
bubjones,

Incest happens in the best of families. Don't blame yourself for something that happened long ago between you and your cousins.
My dad believes that incest is and will always be with all of us. Your cousins knew what they were doing and it probably was not you that brought it out in them. But they did bring it out in their dad!
Your cousins and their father should have been more careful.

Lisa L

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b4rry
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posted November 21, 2004 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bub, it'd seem to me that the harm started with their mom's reaction. Whether she couldn't handle her husband having sex with any other woman but her or she couldn't handle sex between relatives, she definitely reacted in tune with some all or nothing creed rather than trying to keep her family together.

(I always am amazed at how willing some people foresake their family for an all or nothing creed of one sort or another.

IN the context of this thread, Bub, its also obvious that their mother either didn't know of any incest in her family's history or there'd been the abusive kind of incest.

[This message has been edited by b4rry (edited November 21, 2004).]

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b4rry
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posted December 13, 2004 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, Wardner, you used to have something worthwhile to contribute.

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rigged big
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posted September 24, 2006 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rigged big     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my case it started with my mom. Then my dad and eventually my sister just from the general aura within the home. It went from shock to shame to something very pleasant. Surprisingly, I've never had any inclination or thoughts for my daughter. With the exception of thoughts about a couple of 20+ year old nieces, I've been rather staid and adventureless. Although, I have had fantasies about my wife and her sister making it when we were younger.

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buffyann
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posted September 25, 2006 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for buffyann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have read the replys. Incest has been in our family for over 60 yrs.All of my relatives are involved in incest and it is part of our life style. I have to say that haveing my dad as my 1st was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. Who I sleep with is my choice and not forced nor expected. I have enjoyed my grandparents and cousins both male & female. my uncles and aunts.
There has been no children born from incest as this for some reason has been a no-no.
I am 23 now married and my husband comes from a family where incest is normal. incest is wrong if it is forced. Our lives are very private and we keep incest within the family.

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nosegoblin31
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posted September 25, 2006 03:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nosegoblin31     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Buffy,

I love hearing that you have that kind of family. I could only dream of having that kind of family. It's what I am working on currently, if only my wife could carry full term.

Personally, I don't see a problem with in-family pregnancies. I have done research on it and have found the risks are not that high, if, for example, you were to have your father's or brother's child. The risk of defects do get higher the more it's kept in the family. Best idea is if you're going to keep it in-family, make sure you add some fresh genes to the gene pool.

Manipulation is in every family, incestuous or not. So is love. It's up to the individuals involved to be responsible enough to find the happy medium between all family members. There are always problems with jealousy, with both kinds of family. You just have to find the happy medium, and work at staying there.

------------------
Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.

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paulpinecone
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posted October 06, 2006 08:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe I'll get in trouble for this, but most of what I see described here does not sound like anything I'm familiar with.

Of course the fantasies can get us off, but I don't see how reports of simple and idyllic incest can be any more realastic than stories about harem girls. The real experience is intensely compelling, but I couldn't call it good clean fun.

I have never heard someone involved in a long term family situation who wouldn't describe it as some inseperable mix of wretched and sweet. I have rarely heard of a situation where there was equal power. There's almost always someone doing it and someone who accepts having it done.

I only mention this because there really are a lot of things to be said about actual incest experiences, some of them even sexy. People get kinked up in some very unusual ways.

Maybe there should be another forum category called 'Really really real experiences'?

Thanks.

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dio98
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posted October 07, 2006 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dio98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
humm ok ill break loose mine started at a very early age with my mother -- my sister died befor i was born but i know my brother had sex with my sister ( mom told me about it ) my dad had sex with my sister and i think he blamed himself for her death altough she died of acute pendisides my brother was haveing sex with his daughter up till his death in 1998 as to me i joined the air force and found out that it was a crime in some states so i kind of isolated my self from the family ( social guilt ) but i have been hit upong by my cousins and turned them down.. my relationship continued till i joined the service.. i do miss the relationship i had with my mother and loved her deeply and yes my father knew of the relationship and i think he not only condoned it but was rather proud of it.. i still find it very difficult to discuss my relationship but i know now my family was not one of the bad against god type of familys but a very loveing family.

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paulpinecone
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posted October 07, 2006 07:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
To what do you attribute the unusually common number of relationships in your family? Do you think one of your parents created an atmosphere that fostered it?

From what you describe, it sounds like your father first had relations with your sister. Do you think your brother took that as permission? And later that your mother took permission from that?

Of course your family was loving, but what kind of social frictions did all this cause? In a simple one-on-one relationship there are always issues. In a household full of half acknowledged connections there are bound to be more.

Thanks.

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dio98
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posted October 08, 2006 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dio98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes that is true but my father was raised by my grand mother as the third wife in a mormam erea -- the government at that time steped in and all poligimised marriages were abandoned (in short my father was a basterd by government law) my mother came from a very large family that im sure practiced incest -- there was 10 years age difference between my brother and myself -- the incest in my brothers family seems to be a positive thing but with me it tured out to be very negitive in latter years i came to understand a lot more of these things and now i do except it

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paulpinecone
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posted October 09, 2006 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One wonders-- was it the connection with mormanism, or having a large family, or the area of the country, or just strange luck that resulted in all the goings on.

What suggests to you that incest worked well in your brother's family? Has his daughter confided in you?

Something I've always wondered-- incest survivors tend to pair up. How do they recognize each other? What are the signals like? I think I have a pretty good sense for it, but I can't say what it is.

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b4rry
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posted October 09, 2006 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for b4rry     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by paulpinecone:
One wonders-- was it the connection with mormanism, or having a large family, or the area of the country, or just strange luck that resulted in all the goings on.

What suggests to you that incest worked well in your brother's family? Has his daughter confided in you?

Something I've always wondered-- incest survivors tend to pair up. How do they recognize each other? What are the signals like? I think I have a pretty good sense for it, but I can't say what it is.


Sort of a radar for others with incest in their past? Gays supposedly have gaydar. You're proposing there may be something like an incestdar?

By the way, calling people with incest in their past "incest survivors" shows the prejudicial views of society at large. Its true that the 'after' of incest really has more impact on these people than the actual incest, but there's no proof that every person who's had incest experiences at any time views them as negative parts of their lives. In all likelihod, in fact, many do, but some don't.

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dio98
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From: Oak Harbor, Washington
Registered: Aug 2004

posted October 11, 2006 05:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dio98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
in latter years his daughter did tell me and she stated that it was both daughters that had relations with him -- oh yes one of the daughters were mentaly impaired and was in an institution at one time she stated that the brothers all had relation with them both as well -- my brothers wife divoriced after a period of time but i never found out if the incest was the cause but she did visit the boys over night frequently -- i do have a different view on incest now


[This message has been edited by dio98 (edited October 11, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by dio98 (edited October 11, 2006).]

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paulpinecone
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Posts: 12
From: New england
Registered: Oct 2006

posted October 12, 2006 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by b4rry:
Gays supposedly have gaydar. You're proposing there may be something like an incestdar?

Yes, I mean exactly like gaydar. I think it comes from habits and perhaps even styles of dress. What I wonder is if giving off this evidence is an intentional call to others or just a mark of having had the experience.

quote:
By the way, calling people with incest in their past "incest survivors" shows the prejudicial views of society at large. Its true that the 'after' of incest really has more impact on these people than the actual incest, but there's no proof that every person who's had incest experiences at any time views them as negative parts of their lives. In all likelihood, in fact, many do, but some don't.

I meant specifically survivors. I can not speak about those who had a good time of it because I don't know any. I know a lot of people who seek relationships that echo their incest experience-- usually humiliation or submission. But it doesn't seem to mean they enjoyed the original. It's just what feels familiar to them. Certainly any social worker will tell you that when they come across incest in someone's past it almost always means trouble.

Perhaps the people who enjoyed it are more quiet about it? If so, it's a little hard to theorize about how large a demographic they are. Certainly most of the incest claims in this Experiences forum are not in earnest.

The fantasy of incest is very compelling. It gets us hot so we want it to be OK to do. But in more than one case I know, a person used fantasy images of idyllic incest to justify (at least in their own minds) doing it to those in their care.

[This message has been edited by paulpinecone (edited October 14, 2006).]

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paulpinecone
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Posts: 12
From: New england
Registered: Oct 2006

posted November 04, 2006 05:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dio98:
in latter years his daughter did tell me and she stated that it was both daughters that had relations with him -- oh yes one of the daughters were mentaly impaired and was in an institution at one time she stated that the brothers all had relation with them both as well -- my brothers wife divoriced after a period of time but i never found out if the incest was the cause but she did visit the boys over night frequently -- i do have a different view on incest now

This is a rather dry description. Did the daughter make any indication of whether she thought it had been a good or bad thing? You have suggested it seemed OK, but did she concur?

You have to consider how likely it is that she was embelishing. Your description includes every cross gender pairing in a family of 6+. This is not really credible. Still less that she would know about all of it.

Do you have a sense of whether her sister's mental impairment was a result of the sexual activity? Even if it was not, did she have a view on the ethics of bedding a mentally non-adult?

You have mentioned several times that your views are different now. Can you describe how it feels looking back on it? How it has changed you?

Thanks.

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Hard13
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Posts: 14
From:
Registered: Nov 2006

posted November 08, 2006 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hard13     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a 23 yearold male, my Mom is 39. she had me when she was 16. Me and my mom have been having a very awsome and loving sexual relationship now for about five years. I't the greatest feeling to wake up every morning and having her in my arms. we are very open about our relationship to friends and family, only after we get to know them. Our friends and family are very understanding about our sexual relationship with each other. We are basically looked at as a couple by anyone that knows. whenever we are out with our friends or family members, we are always holding hands and Kissing. (very passionately) we love our relationship together and would not trade it for anything. we pretty much just try to do this best for the two of us, and our twin two year old daughters.

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paulpinecone
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Posts: 12
From: New england
Registered: Oct 2006

posted November 18, 2006 05:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paulpinecone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Still there dio98?

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Iowa Guy
Member

Posts: 751
From: IOWA
Registered: Jun 2005

posted November 23, 2006 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Iowa Guy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just thinking out loud here

A incest family would have to have a open mind about sex and not the mono relationships that is mostly associated with the marriages of today. The communes of the past were of that mindset where it was just sex and pleasure and did not take from the whole but gave to it. Sex within a family would give more power to the members having sex, meaning that they would be more equal.
I'm not so sure what I'm saying here.

If the whole family is engaging in sex openly and without concerns, what happends when one of them gets mad about something. There is always the posibbilty that they could go to the police and file charges,no matter what the ages incest is still against the law.
Just a few thoughts
Its no wonder most chooto do this very quitly and won't talk about it.


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